Time Machine
Diagram of a Heart Beating (2022), 40" x 60" Acrylic medium, collage, natural pigment powder on canvas
My favorite part of pursuing an M.F.A. (Master of Fine Arts) is the Visiting Artist day. A different, inspiring visual artist shares their journey every other week, often leaving students feeling more understood and hopeful. This week Rob Nadeau joined us (insta: @rob_nadeau_). Google him if you aren't familiar. The comment that stood out the most during his talk was his willingness to move on despite anyone else's views. When he is ready to change what he's doing, he does. He doesn't let critics or customers impact that decision. Early in his career, he created Canned Heat, 80" x 64" replete with broad red strokes that intersect the canvas, black repeating patterns, and orange/yellow and grey blocks of color. The composition is graphic, bold, and substantial. He has an impressive series like this, and I kept thinking, "I just want to see more!!" Nadeau's work has evolved dramatically over the years; change, he acknowledges, is the one constant. Despite what critics wanted, he would not linger when he felt the tug to leave. Instead, he explored, changed his approach, and experimented with new methods and materials that intrigued him. His message conveyed: a time for everything, and when we are ready, we move on. I could relate.
In 2007 I took a job as a designer and producer at a competitive corporate organization. As an artist and intuitive, sensitive gal, I needed to erect an invisible barrier to protect myself. Friends outside of work would often ask, "are you painting?" I'd respond, "Not now; the time isn't right." I wasn't procrastinating. I was a single mom, working and raising my kids. Although some of my colleagues found creative outlets, I was waiting for a time I could lower the dividers, and I knew that it was years away. So in 2014, I quit that job and returned to school to get my Masters in Art Therapy. It has since been an incredible journey allowing me to be a part of a powerful healing journey for myself and my clients. One of the benefits of being a therapist is witnessing the growth in clients as they realize their goals and dreams. It was clear the time was coming for me to do the same.
Last year, I put together a portfolio and applied for the MFA program at Western Connecticut State University. In August of 2021, I officially started my journey. Surprisingly, the most critical voice I've encountered since starting the program has been my own. I began to dismantle beliefs like, "This MFA is indulgent," "What you have to say isn't important," and "Your ideas are absurd! " And I thought corporate America was rough! Yet, in our MFA program, we spend time addressing shared experiences like dealing with pervasive internal criticism. We continually return to the value of studio practice and the importance of making because we are artists. That is enough.
Additionally, it has significantly deepened my work as an art therapist. I've developed new techniques to deal with the inner critic and have extended my practice with a special focus on artists (theater, visual, music, expressive) and creatives of all ages. I reflect on my time in corporate America. I'm so grateful that I didn't force something I couldn't have done. That was the right time to raise my children and provide. I didn't procrastinate. I waited. "This is the time." This pursuit has taught me to be more present in the creative process, lean into and work with the critical voice, and trust that there is time for everything we want to accomplish. When I was 21, I was frustrated that there wasn't enough time in the day to do everything. I shared this with my mentor, a woman of few words and very successful in her career. She replied, "Aimee, that's what a lifetime is for." Now I get it. It only took two and a half decades to figure that out.
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